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sapphi_snake said:

The problem is that I just find it very disrespectful to mock them so much. Plus, If I'd say I did a sheep, he'd probably tell my mom something (not what I said in confession, but that I've gone down a very wrong path, and that I need serious help, which will freak my mom out > Out of the frying pan, into the fire).

Meh, they put you in this situation. I'm not telling to mock them, just say what they want to hear and be done with it. You'll have to compromise in some way, this non-objective moral bias against doing something that won't even generate the church any problem or pain seems to be the easier way out.

And hey, what's the problem with sheeps? What do you think Adam did before Eve? Porcupines? Lions? Bears? Dolphins?