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flashpoint_1230 on 28 March 2011
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Xen said:
flashpoint_1230 said:
Xen said:
flashpoint_1230 said:
Xen said:

^The sooner you realise that love isn't a necessity for sex and virginity isn't for your wife, the better.

Of course it's not a requirement (otherwise premarital sex wouldn't exist), but then it just degenerates into hedonism, doesn't it? And what is virginity for, then?

If it's not meant to be saved for your spouse, then who's to say that extramarital or multiple partners is unethical and unsanctioned? If it were ethical, then STDs wouldn't exist, would they? How else do you get them?

Hedonism? I view having sex as an exploration of my own sexuality rather than just another way to enjoy myself, I don't lack these... it is something that helps you to get to know your partner as well... a personality reflects in it.

As for the other comment, once you commit, you commit. That's what makes it unethical and traitorous if you sleep around.

Sooo.... okay. Exploration of sexuality. Fine. But why would a person need to explore with another person so early in life? Doesn't sex require you to give yourself up emotionally to another person? Unless, as I said, you're doing it for pleasure's sake, in which case it degenerates into hedonism.

Anyway, even if sex allows you to grow more intimate with a partner, don't you want to get to know your partner before any activity occurs, rather than depending on a sexual encounter to define a person?

So... are you basically saying that sex with other people is fine until you commit? After that, you're stuck? Because that's just... I mean, imagine getting married and then telling someone on your honeymoon, "Oh, hey, I've already had sex with 4 people, by the way." Not real fair.

Huh? It's perfectly fair. So what if you partner had sex with 4 people prior to you? The fact that you two got married shows that you two are ready to leave that behind and commit only to eachother. Marriage is based on trust in eachother as well as taking the bad in with the good. Is that something that should really stop you from marrying the person you love? Hell no.

In sex you can see things that do not normally show, that's why I even made that remark. Of course it's better if everything was available for you without it.

And yeah, again, sex with others is fine until you decide to settle down and are fixed on that you found your partner for life. If you have problems with the fact that your partner isn't a virgin or if he/she has the same problem with you, you two do not trust eachother enough, and do not have enough understanding on an emotional level.

Yes, but marriage isn't about completely ignoring the bad. Take the bad with the good, fine. But there's no possible way that you could ignore it. There's always that fear of "what if they're comparing me to past partners?" If either one of you has an experience where you can look back and know what sex is like, then wouldn't your mind automatically skip to that? You wouldn't be able to focus solely on the experience between you and your spouse. It's not fair to either of you.

 

lolita said:

 

These. I admire people who chose to wait instead of having meaningless sex.

I really want to facepalm at the guys who think they need to do it before 20 otherwise it's weird. Really? Dudes, that doesn't make you attractive... AT ALL. I'm a women and I know what I like and really dislike. If a guy slept around or had sex just cause he thinks it's cool, to me it is quite repulsive, doesn't show much intelligence (both mental and emotional), lack of maturity and it doesn't seem very respectful. Not sure I would want to be around that guy, ever.

 

Oh, thank goodness! Here I was thinking that I was weird!