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Resident_Hazard on 03 March 2011
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chocoloco said:
leatherhat said:
Resident_Hazard said:

Ahhh, well.  In the teaser, I saw the following:

Cliched anime dependance on overt violence and a graphical presentation that doesn't look evolved much over Ninja Gaiden II.  Given that this is Team Ninja, I'm sure the game will be shallow as hell and feature a completely insipid story no one can follow with dialog written for little kids, except for all the swearing they'll throw in to make it seem like a game for "mature" audiences.

Otherwise known as the same old crap Team Ninja always does.


But awesome gameplay trumps all that- plus they rarely swear in Ninja gaiden, so I don't think you've actually played any. 

Obviously, otherwise he would know it is about the bloodiest game ever with fighting strippers!


I've seen bloodier games.  I've played Ninja Gaiden Black, played through NG: Dragon Sword, and recently finished Ninja Gaiden II.  And what was that other one... It was a Ninja Gaiden game, but without the right title... OH RIGHT.  Metroid Other M.  

Let's not forget the Dead or Alive fighting and "extreme beach volleyball" games.  

As far as I'm concerned, Team Ninja is one of the worst developers in the industry as they cling desperately to time-worn cliches from 20 years ago and their storytelling is among the most childish this side of pornographic anime fan fiction written by a lonely 15-year-old virgin.  The story is utter anime nonsense in Ninja Gaiden games and the titles are so bogged down in cliches and flat ideas it's pathetic.  

This industry has had some real growth where characters and narrative are concerned, and finally treats women with some respect.  Granted, I like sexy women and all, but I also like femal characters to be portrayed with some class and maturity.  For Team Ninja, it's just another stripper to use as plot fodder.  Hell, the CIA broad in NG2 ended up in damsel-in-distress subplots at least twice in that trainwreck.  Why Nintendo ever thought this company would be good hands in which to place the once strongest and most respectable female protagonist is beyond any logical comprehension.  No wonder Samus was turned into a preening, scared shitless little girl constantly dependent on tough-guy male stereotypes.  Team Ninja really doesn't know how to deal with female characters outside of making them victims and dressing them in shoelaces.  

As for the gameplay?  I have never seen such absent-minded button-mashing nonsense in my entire life.  Talk about a fucking mess.  It was nothing but mashing the X button the entire time, and all the weapons were interchangeable, making having more than one weapon type essentially meaningless.  Boss battles were just obnoxious, and if it weren't for that broken Conan game, I'd say they were the worst I'd ever experienced.  (Okay, to be fair, Onechanbara on the Xbox360 manages to be slightly worse than Ninja Gaiden II on almost every level, but NG2 was intended as a AAA-style release, and Onechanbara has always expectedly been crap.)  

Here, let me just copy and paste from my review at MobyGames a partial list of cliches found in Ninja Gaiden II:

Ninjas fighting robots? Check.

Ninjas fighting outdoors in daylight? Check.

Unbelievable levels of violence? Check.

Women dressed illogically, or inappropriately? Check.

Undead creatures? Check.

Illogical boss battles? Check.

Red exploding barrels? Check.

Reused boss characters? Check.

Nonsensical plotline? Check.

Ninja characters fighting high-tech futuristic enemies with ancient, inappropriate weapons? Check.

Hammy acting and storytelling? Check.

Damsel-in-distress plotline? Check.

Ninjas running across the surface of water? Check.

Game features every possible environmental setting imaginable? Check.

 

So, yes.  I've played Ninja Gaiden II.  And, by the way, it sucks.  You want good hack-n-slash gameplay? Seek God of War.  You wand decent hack-n-slash gameplay?  Castlevania: Lords of Shadow isn't bad.  You want totally shallow tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-die-by-the-seat-of-your-pants gameplay?  Then by all means, play a modern Ninja Gaiden game.