The OP would have been a lot funny if it was so painfully obvious it was made up (like in my room smoking a blunt, drinking, whatever, then my parents walked in...while I was playing Wii Sports and saw I was a casual).
Anyways, mine was probably shortly after my wedding when I got a staff infection under my thumbnail.
My parents got us a spa day at the Hilton for a wedding present which was cool I guess. The massage was nice and I had never had a manicure or pedicure and I think I never will again. I'm pretty sure that's where I got the infection from and it sucked beyond belief.
It started as a funny little dark colored spot under my thumbnail. I noticed it pretty quickly but didn't think a lot of it until it started hurting. It kept hurting more and more until I just finally couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain. I remember that Fable II had just came out and while I couldn't really play any games since it hurt too much, I could sit there and do the job mini-games. I remember sitting there until 3 or 4 in the morning tired as all Hell, bored out of my mind from doing those games for 6 hours straight, and in insane amounts of pain. I wanted to just go to the Dr., but I really didn't have one and it was 3 or 4 in the morning.
I finally got up and went to the emergency room because I didn't know what else to do.
I got there and told them the story and I was sure they thought I was lying just to get pain meds (I had been watching House). The Dr. there looked at my thumb and thought it was a fungal infection, gave me so fungus cream, and some mild pain killers.
Over the next few days I put the cream on my thumb and took the pain killers but neither really had any effect. My thumb actually started growing bigger and the pain killers did nothing at all. My thumb was swelling up so much that it was pushing my thumbnail up. Two or three days I was insane amounts of pain and my thumb was nearly double the size so I talked to people at work and found a Dr.
I get to the Dr. and he tells me that it was a Staff infection and not fungus. He said my thumb was double the size because it was creating puss but since it was under my thumbnail it had no place to go and was just collecting. He would have to stick a needle under my thumbnail and drain the puss. He gave me some local anesthetic but it didn't work. He tried again, still didn't work. Being a fair skinned redhead, I'm resistant to pain killers.
Finding that out, it meant he had to stick a giant needle under my thumbnail and drain the puss with no pain killers at all. That was easily the most painful day of my life because it took about four or five syringes to get it all.
It's all finally out, I'm covered in sweat and tears and ready to vomit from all the pain. I'm completely exhausted because I hadn't really slept in days but it was all finally over. Other than the residual pain from someone digging under my thumb with a needle, my thumb didn't really hurt, or at least it was a different pain which was good. The Dr. gives me a prescription for the infection and sends me on my way.
The medicine had to be taken with food and I had been a diet because of the wedding so I decided to reward myself on the way home for all the pain. I stop at Sonic and get a horribly fattening greasy meal with a large shake and take it home. I eat it and take my medicine along with a pretty major painkiller the Dr. gave me (which worked!) and was happy...for about 10 minutes.
I suddenly started feeling incredibly nauseous and had to throw up. I assumed it was because of the insane ordeal I just went through and all the greasy food my body wasn't use to. Being relatively pain free at that point, I took the rest of the day off from work and slept.
The next morning I get up, I take my painkillers, I take my medicine, and go to work. By the time I get to work I start feeling incredibly nauseous and throw up again. I call the Dr. and apparently it was the medicine he gave me to fight the staff infection so I had to go get another. After that, it eventually went away fine and I was all good.
It was interesting watching my thumbnail grow because now that my thumb was a normal size, I could see just how big it had gotten as my thumbnail grew. There was a massive bump in my thumbnail because it had been growing up because of the swelling.
Anyways, that's the story of my most painful week of my life followed by the most painful day of my life.
-edit-
Woohoo, I found my original post about it when I thought it was fungus.
http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/thread.php?id=46235
