VGChartz Official Gran Turismo 5 Thread!

[DonFerrari]

A Game that shouldn’t be looked twice, and why it deserves all the hate.

 

Gran Turismo receives so much attention that it’s getting annoying. It’s just a poor racing game with lots of flaws claiming to be the best real drive simulator. And bellow are the reasons why it’s not so great.

For a game that consider itself to be a real simulator, it should be life like. And Gran Turismo 5 fails so much when this is considered. It should be really called “Blocks sliding down the course”. I shall start from a 10 score and will take out points along the way.

First and foremost, where is the dirty in the car? The windshield is always clean, an everyone that drives know for a fact that you always hit some fly and where the hell is the stains the dirt and rain leaves in the windshield after this events? While in this details I must complain about the lack of sunburn and epoxy in the second-hand cars. If you buy your car in a bargain bin you would expect it to have some faults and in Gran Turismo they transcend real life by the lack of them. (-1)

Second point is about mechanical failure. In F1 race, the top sport in the world is common that a engine don’t start in the beginning of a race or brake midway (and sometimes the clutch, or whatsoever), never happened to see a broken car.  And other gigantic problem is the tires, although they wear down you there isn’t a flat tire. And after the race when you repair a damaged car you can’t see the differences, and everybody knows that a repaired car is never the same. (-1)

Third is about the shitty physics. How can we accept that there is no difference during the race when your tank is empty, and your Center of Gravitation changes along with fuel consumption, changing the dynamic models – and this where never considerate, blasphemy. Other trouble I have with this game is the aeroelastic model that is inexistent, you don’t have the feeling of aerodynamical being correct – drag is considered, but where is the wind scissor or the turbulence you feel when passing the side of a big car (truck), or moreover the loss of aerodynamical pressure when inside the lower pressure area (ending in a loss of turn performance). And in aeroelastic you should see your rear mirror shaking while driving also the windshield cleaners vibrating. (-1)

And so much about realism, after you take 5 whole years developing a goddam game how can’t it forget to give me the thrill? My couch is immovable during the race, but in my car it moves along the bumps. And even having a head track (with eyetoy) why can’t I sense the G-pull in the turns. (-1)

Other major flaw is the absence of the fear factor. If I try to take someone in a turn over 100 mph in real life I would fear for my life, but I can’t have this sensation in this game. And with this is the lack of a gun, because if an idiot bumps me and scratch the paintjob I would find a good use for it. Also living in Brazil I feel the lack of car robbery, where are the AK-47 people in the stop sign waiting to rob my car? Where is the crosswalk for pedestrian? (-1)

Also there is a lack in the challenge modes. Where is the challenge to get back home in 30 min in rush hour? Is this a real driving simulator or closed course bull****?  And in real life if I were with a Porsche would be really easy to hit some girls, where is this game mode? Another point, where are free street race? Open Mountain Downhill and Uphill? Or this game is just about legalized races? Never seen most of the cars competing in a closed legal course, so this game is missing something. (-1)

Also, what about 1031 cars?? If it’s a real life simulator why can’t I have my own car? Where is the manufacturers stands? And never in real life I would sell my car for ¼ of it’s value. And where is my credit? I want to take my prizes. Shitty game. (-1)

And the so famous “real time” weather change. I looked at the Weather Channel and it wasn’t raining at the time, why screw something so easy to do? Just track the weather in real time over the internet services and release a game that do it really real time, or don’t call it like that. (-1)

Where was the wildlife in the courses? Haven’t seen a bird or wolf in any of them. The wind wasn’t bending the trees, and in a 24h Le Mans I couldn’t see the grass growing, and we all know that grass grow overnight. (-1)

Kazunori better think about all of this before making another flawed game, and with this take out all the fun in the game. (-1)

So of course this is a 0 rated game that should never be seen again.

This is an essay aimed primarly at the nip picking out there that want to complain about every aspect of the game, if I try really hard as engineer I can show even more “flaws” a game can have. So we should all stop reviewing a game for what we wanted it to be and start playing it and crediting for what it really is, an awesome and funny masterpiece.

And for those that didn’t understand, this is a parody about the shitty review systems. If a game is better than all the ones before how can you say this and give a rate bellow all others?