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loves2splooge on 22 November 2010
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JOKA_ said:
loves2splooge said:
JOKA_ said:
Mr Khan said:

Well, that just collapsed spectacularly. Apparently it took her 24 hours to figure out that i was actually asking her out when i asked her out, and... yeah...

 

So, there goes that. Now i have three weeks of awkwardness to look forward to.

 

Though she said we could still go out together, just without actually going out together...

hmm... should i take the consolation prize or not? I'd rather not wreck what i have, but the long-term investment should at least net an outcome, or should i just retreat now and minimize the awkwardness in the short-term

I was prepared for rejection, but not 24 hours after i thought i had clinched it. That was a rather cruel way for this to happen.

I've skimmed through this thread a little, and you are very good at giving vague answers.  I'm intrigued...what did she say?

 

Also, as for what you should do, is focus on yourself.  Don't care about how she is going to feel.  If she wants to do something and invites you too, just think about if you want to do it or not.  If it sounds fun or interesting then go.  If it doesn't do something else that you would enjoy.  She shouldn't be a factor anymore.  Do what you want to do.

If he starts declining her invites now, she's going to think that he never really genuinely wanted to hang out with her as a friend but just wanted to get into her pants. Many self-proclaimed "nice guys" fall into this category.

In an ideal world, men shouldn't let their dick dictate what they are willing to put up with. If you are going to do a favor for a woman you are interested in, ask yourself if you would do the same if you knew that she wouldn't ever fuck you.

Well, I'm speaking from some personal experience here.  If he wants to let go and treat her like a friend...then he should treat her like a friend.  I don't do things I don't want to out of fear that my friends will get mad at me or think I'm not nice.

He's got a few weeks left in an internship (in possibly a new city for him)  I say don't miss out on any opportunities he wants to just for the sake of being a "nice guy"

Also, I find it ironic that someone with the name of "loves2splooge" is giving advice on how to be a nice guy lol

But why do things you don't wanna do with a girl you are interested in in the first place? Why should you jump through hoops that you wouldn't for a friend? That's my whole point (I should have made that more clear. Sorry about that). If a guy is only going to be chummy with a girl and go the extra mile for her because he wants to get into her pants and then he gives her the cold shoulder after because she won't have sex with him, she has every right to think the guy is a jerk. Plenty of self-proclaimed "nice guys" have this idea in their head that they are nice guys because they go out of their way to try to please a chick. But then once they know they don't have any chance at scoring with the chick, they ignore the chick and their true colors start to show.

I used to think like that in a past relationship (that you should jump hoops for a chick and accomodate her more than you would your friends). And I was fucking miserable in that relationship. Personally I feel that I should be as brutally honest with a potential partner as I am my best friend. And yeah that has turned off chicks in the past but I don't give a fuck. I'm not going to get naked with someone who has a personality I don't like or clashes with mine. Even if I wanted a fuck buddy (which I wouldn't mind to be honest. I don't think sex is this magical thing. It's an instinct. Nothing more, nothing less)  she still has to be a genuine buddy you know? If I say or do something that bothers her and it's obvious that her values clash with my values, then she didn't pass my test and that's that. If your goal is to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, why put on a facade? I know with my best friend that I can say whatever is on my mind and even if he disagrees, he still accepts me for who I am. He takes the good with the bad. Now if only I could meet an attractive female version of him, that would be awesome. It's not like a BFF type of deal but I have to admit it's rewarding when you know that there are people in the world that you can trust and respect.