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I love this.  The buttons page is especially hilarious.

Pause.
That's a really important function right there.
Especially when you get a phone call.
Or drank too much soda.
I know what you're thinking.
"What if I could ssut shout 'Pause'?"
Without a button.
Great idea!
Because there's no way that could backfire.
Imagine:
You're boxing.
Your friend's passing by.
He wants to mess with you.
Cause he's sometimes a jerk like that.
He shouts, "Pause!"
Tragic.