Well personally I would stay away from the Home Theatre in a box deals, those are rarely ever of good quality and like what has happened to you, you can only use them with each other.
I would go with separate components personally, it can be a little more expensive but then you are in control of which peices are what plus you can replace one part of it and the rest still work.
You can get a good A/V reciever with all the HD codecs needed for around $300. Stay away from Sony recievers though, that is a mistake I wont make again.
A good Blu-ray player for $150-200(or a PS3 for $300 which would make it competely future proof). I would stick with a Sony on this one, they seem to have the best ones and are always keeping them up to date with firmware releases.
I dont know what prices are on 5.1 speaker setups are, but I got mine for about $800 3 years ago, so I would think they are a little cheaper by now. Klipsch is the brand I chose and I have been very happy with the sound they produce.
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