"Nintendo isn't out trying to make citizen kane when they make it,"
Why is it always Citizen Kane? That film just pleases critics. You want general acceptance in gaming, shoot for gaming's Godfather or Casablanca.
That was for most gamers who want games to be art, not just you.
"So a game where a fat plumber jumps platforms and gathers powerups and coins somehow equates to an epic long form medieval poem?"
In terms of a hero overcoming odds and slaying monsters.
A flashy-first game is awesome when it comes out. A great-first game is awesome forever.
Plus, just for the hell of it: Kelly Brook at the 2008 BAFTAs