First of all, you use too many similes.
You need to stop saying that one thing is like another thing, or that something is ssssoooooo bad that it's like (fill in the blank).
Secondly, you need to start working off the cuff. Don't focus on script writing so much. Play the game for a while and comment on it while you are playing. Record the parts you want to show and use a script to improve what you are saying.
Next, your voice sound is a little sporadic in that it goes high and low and warbles around a bit. Maybe you should start smoking cigarettes heavily?
Your strategy of reviewing old asinine games and shitting on them is what AVGN did. Try to take a different angle on it. Instead, take the design choices from the games and laugh at them, tell us why they're funny rather than why they're shitty and offer constructive criticism. In the Bill and Teds adventure one, you threw pudding on the ground for knights to eat and asked if anyone remembered it from the movie. Instead you should've said something like "It should have been", and then make a joke about why, say some "pudding exclusivity" contract the Keanu signed.
Lastly, you swear too much. Swearing isn't funny. Like "Bill and Ted's 'Shitty' adventure". That itself isn't funny. You need to work on a build up to punchlines. There needs to be a context.
As a side note to that, a lot of your jokes are "delivery sensitive". In the caveman one, you make a bad joke, I think it was, "Manmoth". And then you did a kind of Conan O'brien "that was a terrible joke". However, your delivery was very poor. Those delivery type jokes are very difficult and take lots of practice because they need to be natural. Additionally, it was obvious that it was in the script. It was very unnatural sounding, and is the type of joke you could only get away with if you were improvising on the spot.
Best of luck
EDIT: Too much of these:
"It would be easier, and I’d rather piggy back an elephant while pogo sticking in diarrhea snot pissing out a giant pelican’s mouth in a twister."
