Since all the cool kids are doing, here are my thoughts on my newest console purchase: the PS3.
Packaging
First off, I was pissed before turning on the system, partly Sony fault, partly. The part that was my fault was that Movie Trading Company only included one controller with the system that was supposed to contain two and I didn’t notice until I had already brought in home and couldn’t bring it back until the next day. I could have complained but they more than likely would have said that I was just trying to jip them and there was no way to prove it. At least I got Motorstorm but after playing that (with standard cables and later Hd cables) I still like Excite Truck better. Motorstorm was just meh, nothing special. Packaging gets a shiny F.
The other thing that pissed me off before even turning on the system was that it came with standard cables. This has me pissed because Sony has their little snake in the grass BluRay they’re trying to push on everyone and tell us that HD is the new thing yet they fail to include HD cables. Good job guys. Way to show me that HD really is the way. F is for Fucktards.
PSN Store
Anyways, I still hook my system up the night I got it even though I didn’t have any spiffy component cables yet and go through the menus and all that crap. I start downloading Uncharted and deal with the stores menus. I’m sorry, but the PSN store is one of the shittiest things I’ve ever seen. The fact they make you scroll through all the text boxes and the two minutes it took to scroll through the license agreement was just plain crap. Not only that, it’s just not well organized. I’m sorry, but the PSN gets and F.
Menus
Next up is the menu or dashboard or whatever it’s called. Not much to go over here but it’s pretty crappy too but at least it’s useable. I just hate how some tabs have next to nothing and then other tabs have 20 things and those things have even more things. It’s just a little confusing and not that intuitive. I’ll give the menus a C, woohoo, the first passing thing.
Uncharted
So I let Uncharted download over the night and when I got up the next morning it stopped at some point. Damn. Oh well, I started it back up and ran some errands and it was done by the time I got back and everything hooked up all nice and pretty with spiffy component cables. I played Uncharted and it was a little goofy which I didn’t mind, but it wasn’t great. I *hated* the SIXAXIS controls for the grenades, it just wasn’t very good. The SIXAXIS controls for the walking across logs wasn’t bad, but I had to wave the controller about wildly to get myself to fall off the log.
Next off was the melee combat. I just really didn’t like it, it wasn’t really fun. I never felt like it flowed too well and there were always people shooting at me while I was trying to punch someone. Speaking of people shooting at me, I could rarely tell where people were. I know this was kind of the point, but it wasn’t fun to keep getting shot and not really know where from.
The last thing that really bothered me was that I climb up on this ledge and the game gives me a message to press some buttons for massive melee damage but as soon as that message popped up something started shooting. Damnit, don’t give me a message to read and then immediately start shooting me. Give me time to read the message. To make things worse, the message disappears before you get a chance to read it unless you want to just stand there and get shot while reading it. Good job guys.
Now that we got all the negatives over with, it’s time to look at the positives. I will say that the game wasn’t bad and I’ll more than likely get it eventually (too many better things in the next few months to get it right away). The jumping and climbing was fun and the shooting was fun. The game also looked really nice. There were some framerate hits and a few things that didn’t quite look up to quality (like the hole in the parachute) but all in all it didn’t look too bad. I give the demo a solid B.
Motorstorm
I didn’t spend a lot of time with this game but since I mentioned it above I’d figure I’d give it a nice little shout out. I didn’t spend long with the game, but spent just long enough to figure out I wasn’t a fan and liked Excite Truck A LOT better. To be fair though, I’m not a huge fan of racing games. C+.
Heavenly Sword
After trying the Uncharted demo, I decided to try Heavenly Sword. I don’t know why, but this game took an entire day to download. It’s not like I have a slow connection so not real sure why it took so long, I guess I get what I pay for for the PSN.
So I start the demo up and it’s pretty and hearing Nariko say twing twang is a little silly but whatever. I go over to the rope, press X and go. Next there’s an arrow pointing to the right and silly me thought that this meant use the SIXAXIS and motion to the right. I move the controller to the right and nothing happens. I try again and this time turn it like a steering wheel to the right and nothing happens. I keep trying and finally just wave the controller wildly in the air and I make it past. Woohoo! I make it to the next and it gives me a left arrow and I of course fail. I try a few more times and finally just say fuck this shit.
I wait a few minutes and watch some TV and tell myself I’ll try again. I keep doing the same thing trying to use the SIXAXIS controls. I keep thinking I’m supposed to use those because it’s the PS3 and I thought all the games tried to use the tilt controls in some special way. I finally decide to just press right on the control pad on a whim and it works and I felt like an idiot. I try it on the next arrow and it works too. I guess the arrow really meant just press right or left and not use the tilt controls. They had some more buttons after that and those ended up making me angry too. Apparently just pressing the button once isn’t enough and you have to keep pressing it. I think it’s pretty stupid but whatever.
Finally after like 30 minutes I get to the fighting and it was just as silly as I’ve heard. It really was just a button mashing fest. I know there was a move list but it just reinforced the button mashing mechanic. So I was wildly pressing buttons and stuff happened. Every now and then the camera would zoom in and Nariko would perform some death move. I have no idea why those happened but OK, sure, look like she has some anger issues.
So after I defeat the enemies on the pointless pillar of doom, I climb down and fight some more enemies. After killing the first enemy I was already bored of the combat. I tried out some more moves but button mashing ending up working better. I actually got up and got a drink while just tapping the triangle and square button and when I came back I was still doing fine. I know people will take this as pointless bashing but if I can get up, walk away while just randomly pressing two buttons, and still do fine that’s a problem. It’s even more of a problem when that’s the main gameplay mechanic.
So I come back and finally finish the fight. At this point I’m bored out of my mind and give a sigh of boredom when I see three more enemies burst open a door and then something surprised me—the demo ended. I knew it was short but I didn’t expect it to be that short. I bet it takes longer to read this entire post than finish that demo which is just silly. Luckily I wasn’t too upset over this since I was already bored out of my mind playing the game. F+.
Scores so far
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Package: F
PSN: F
Menus: C
Uncharted: B
Motorstorm: C+
Heavenly Sword: F+
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So far, I’m not really happy with the PS3. I know people will say that’s because I have a negative attitude but I did really try to come at all the demos and games with a positive attitude and they just weren’t that impressive. Uncharted looks like it will be worth a buy and I’m sure if you only had a PS3 it would be a must buy, but since I have a Wii and 360, there are *many* better games coming out in the next few months.
I have also have Ratchet & Clank and I played a little bit of it but not enough that I want to form an opinion on it yet. It’s interesting but so far it’s not great. I hope that after I play it a little more I’ll like it a little more. I also have the Folklore demo and I’ll give that a whirl later.
Also, don’t tell me I should go buy Warhawk or Resistance or whatever. I’ve played Resistance and I hate the game so there’s no need to try that. I really don’t want to try Warhawk because I don’t really like flight games and don’t have an overwhelming urge to play a multiplayer only game. The next retail game I’ll more than likely try is either going to be Folklore or Eye of Judgment. My birthday is coming up and since I already have money down on all the games I’m already committed to buying I might just ask for Folklore, Eye of Judgment, or Uncharted. I haven’t really decided yet. What I do know is that the PS3 deserves all the mocking it gets.
Don't get me wrong, I'll continue to try things out and try out games that ineterest me, but I'm very glad that I didn't actually put any money down on this machine. I'd be faily upset if I actually payed full price or even a used price on the PS3.
