Video Games Cause Violence

[avinash habashi]

trashleg said:

avinash habashi said:

Garamond said:
include that paragraph i wrote and see if your teacher writes you up

I Totally Would, But I Don't Think My Teacher Wants To Hear About Goombas And Nintendo Specifically Since Video Games Is Going To Be A Small Portion Of My Essay. I Couldn't Anyways Because It Is On The Net And Would Be So Obvious That I Copied It. It Was Incredibly Well Written Though. Haha.

if that's the case, it should be at the end, after all the big contributing factors.

and dont be so "he said this and then this other guy said this". thats not showing any thought process from you at all. its YOUR opinion she wants to hear, she doesnt give a rats ass about their opinion EXCEPT in the context of whether or not it supports your own opinion.

 

remember that throughout the whole essay.

violence in youth is on the rise - quote statistics, but keep it brief- and there are concerns blah blah. there are many factors being blamed for this, ranging from everything from family circumstances to media.

start with factor 1. your paragraph will look like this -

1. this is this.
2. this quote (keep it short and snappy, you dont want a great big wall of paraphrased text) supports this
3. this other quote disagrees, but i don't see it as persuasive enough evidence because -blah-.

rinse and repeat for all factors.

dont forget linking sentences between paragraphs. "if it can be assumed that violence in youth can be attributed to -FACTOR 1-, then we must also look at -FACTOR 2-, for it too has come under scrutiny..

then when you get to the end say "this is what causes violence, -FACTOR- is the biggest but not the only blah blah blah.

Thank you! =]

I wrote this paragraph the way I did because it is supposed to be a descriptive essay, and she told us specifically not to include our opinion. This is something that I am having a problem with.

Im not horribly great with essays (putting my ideas on the paper and organization), so thank you for your help.