Every individual should have the right to refuse service to anyone, and everyone has the right to use their freedom of speech to speak out against people when they believe they have been wronged. Over time the consequences from people's actions will result in society being reasonably fair to everyone involved. The act of trying to get people to self identify is simply trying to shame people into conformity and is not acceptable, any more than it would be acceptable to say that all gay people must identify their sexual preference at all times.
Now, there is a photographer I know who doesn't take photos of marriages between two men because he believes the photos are generally boring ... he is personally gay but thinks that the variety in color and form from a traditional marriage is far more visually interesting than a bunch of guys in suits. Should he have to justify his decision that isn't hurting business, or be forced to take jobs he doesn't want in place of jobs he does want, because someone has hurt feelings?
