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Try and be online at the same time as much as possible.... it should connect you eventually.

As for the games... ASE capture is a little more unfair when teams are uneven I find, as co-operation is needed to get the ASE back... or at least more distraction than 1 person can cause.

Me and Ranger1 ALMOST won that last game... it was one of the times I wish I could have told him to just keep killing, only 3-4 kills away from winning the game when the timer ran out.