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I've never really used PSN that much to clarify about this topic. But I must say Call of Duty: World at War is a bad game to try and get friends because its all about being the best and not about having fun.

I play Halo 3 with only my friends that I know from work and when I'm alone I just play without the headset and if people want me to party up with them and join there games I will and eventually plug the headset in. The majority of online games on PSN and Xbox Live consist of trash talking. It's something you will have to live wiith. As for friends, you can get them but its a rare occasion. You should try less ranking games like LittleBigPlanet or Burnout Paradise where its all about fun and less ignorance.