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@reaver

The complaint is not that the story failed to be epic. The complaint is that the story failed to even be decent. Hell it wasn't even mediocre. It was just plain awful. I would not be surprised in the least if it was scratched out on a napkin during a thirty minute lunch. I am also terrified that there might be someone out there that thought this was actually a good story.

There just isn't a excuse for this kind of shoddy workmanship. I expected the shadow puppets from Mystery Science Theater to emerge from the bottom of my screen at any moment to lampoon the entire thing. I mean Santa Clause Versus the Martians comes off as a great work of fiction in comparison. Go give a literature major a few hundred bucks to write a story in a couple hours, and you would get better.