Series:
FLCL was pretty fun very short anime about growing up that did somehow end up in. (6 episodes)
Noir was pretty awesome series about an assassin
Ebichu the house keeping hamster is the most hilarious thing i've ever seen ( I believe it's still available on Youtube with some amazingly comprehensive subs)
Golden Boy is a short series that is hilarious if you can identify with a young sexually frustrated guy.
Movies:
TOKYO GODFATHERS Probably the best anime i've ever seen especially for people like yourself. It definitely touches on almost all of your sucker categories and touches nothing from the dislikes. If you try only one thing in my post it should be this.
Howl's Moving Castle
Princess Mononoke
Spirited Away
The Miyazaki Trio. You have to see these. Really any of these Stuido Ghilbi/Disney releases. They are sometimes hit and miss or feature things you dislike but I have similar likes and dislikes and have only been disappointed by one.
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