Put it in your cap
or
Massage your prostate with it.
or
Peel a banana, wrap it in bacon, and then sell it on ebay.
or
Make edible placemats from bacon
or
Make a bacon alarm clock, involving a complicated rube goldberg machine that ends up with searing hot bacon on your face.
or
Use blended bacon as a salad dressing, or just drink it!
or
Make maple bacon cupcakes!
or
Use bacon grease as a personal lubricant
or
Make a scarf out of bacon, you'll be the talk of the town!
or
Make bacon fondue, and dip bacon in it!
or
Make holiday decorations out of bacon!
or
Give your date a bouquet of bacon, she'll be yours in no time!
or
Use it as toilet paper!
or
Use it to start your own bacon grow-op!
or
Make Nocab!
or
Put it behind your ears for that sexy bacon smell that drives the ladies (and the men) wild!
