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The main issue here is that some people perceive marriage to be a strictly religious institution, and some believe it to be a secular institution.

Personally, I believe it to be a religious institution, and the only reason the government has any say in the matter is because government and religion centuries ago were intrinsically linked.

The only reason the government even involves itself with marriage at this point is for tax and social service purposes.

I think that government should completely rid itself of its involvement with marriage, instead utilizing civil unions for all. If to people want to be united for whatever reason (taxes, child bearing, what have you), then so be it. This would also allow, for example, a pair of old ladies that live together in a completely non-romantic way to get all the tax benefits a typical couple might have. Marriage, however, should be dealt with entirely by each of the specific religions out there. Catholics will allow who they will to be married, same goes for other Christians, Islamists, etc. If a new Church arises that performs homosexual marriages, then they can do that.

Ultimately, it's a matter of a separation of Church and State. In my mind, marriage has always been a religious institution, and the government should have no involvement in such matters.