A union boss at a convention in Las Vegas decides to visit a local brothel. He asks the madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No, I’m sorry, it isn’t," she says.
"Well, if I pay $100, what do the girls get?" he asks.
"The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20."
Mighty offended by such unfair dealings, the man stomps off in search of a more equitable shop. Finally, he reaches a brothel where the madam says, "Why yes, this is a union house."
"And if I pay $100, what do the girls get?" he asks.
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That’s more like it!" the man says. He looks around the room and points to a gorgeous young redhead. "I’d like her for the night."
"I’m sure you would, sir, but…" says the madam, gesturing at a 70-year-old woman in the corner, "Ethel here has seniority."
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow," says the barkeep. "What’d you do?" "I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out." "That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?" "I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ‘Bad dog!’"
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time," the doctor says. "Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "Ten," says the doctor. "Ten? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately. "Nine. . ."
Tag: Became a freaking mod and a complete douche, coincidentally, at the same time.
