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I'm currently playing Infinite Undiscovery, and god I'm hating Capell. He's not very bright and he whines a lot. Characters like that annoy the hell out of me. Male leads that looks like girls also annoy me, like the prince in Suikoden V.

I agree with you Words of Wisdom, you make a lot of strong points.
I haven't played many RPGs with female leads, but I really liked Lacryma Christi in Kartia (Kartia had a lot of great characters) and Gwendolyn and Velvet in Odin Sphere. Then again FFX-2 is an example of how wrong you can go with female leads.

Some of my personal favorite male leads in jRPGs are Ramza Beoulve from FF:Tactics, he has good morals, does the best he can for what he believes in and he's not stupid nor whiney. SRPGs tend to have better lead characters than traditional RPGs in my opinion. Not only male, but also female.
I also really like Ashley Riot, he actually acts like a grown man and with issues I actually care about and that he doesn't whine about. I also like young, good spirited and naive characters like Justin from Grandia and Sora from Kingdom Hearts, just because they tend to be very charming. Fei Fong Wong from Xenogears is also a strong and interesting male lead.