If you’re a Wii owner and you’re not currently playing or (saving up for) MadWorld, Platinum Games’ new sadistically violent beat ‘em up, kindly attach your nunchuk to your Wii remote and swing it around in the air until it smacks some sense into your dumb face. MadWorld takes Sin City’s black, white and red color scheme, ditches the Frodo with glasses and hands you a chainsaw to reward you for killing everything in sight as creatively as possible. It got us thinking that maybe every game could benefit from an art style like that. Ok, maybe, not every game. But at least 100 or so. Or 5? Yup, 5 it is.
#5: Wii Sports Resort Of Death
It’s not often enough that families circle the Samsung for some absurdly grotesque violence for all ages. Hey, it could even serve as a cathartic vacation away from the typical evening of kitchen table bickering. That shit would’ve done wonders for the Menendez brothers, for starters. 1:1 motion stabbing Kendo sword play with your estranged father could finally be the seal to old wounds as it simultaneously tore open new ones in-game. We’re no therapists, but that has to be better than just pumping everyone full of Ritalin and passing out to Rock Of Love. Bonus points for convincing your family they’d even play their Wii more than twice to begin with.
#4: Animal Crossing TerrorTown
Animal Crossing City Folk was nice and all, but let’s face it, the game was seriously lacking in the “new” department. Maybe a more robust online system, advanced housing development and deeper character interaction could’ve saved it. Or maybe it just needed your Crosser to paint the town red with his trusty axe as a dark blanket of death forever draped the sky. Bonus points for dropping a shark on to Tom Nook from your second floor window American Psycho style every time he came by to collect the rent.
#3: MaddenWorld 2010
Madden 2010 already sounds like a straight to VHS faux-futuristic gore flick starring the ghost of Charlton Heston, so it might as well live up to its name and give gamers want they really want: the death of all things Madden. Plus there’s gotta be at least 6 people out there that miss the NFL Blitz franchise…right? Football is like Nascar in that it’s only fun when people get hurt, so spike your opponents head into the end zone and shove a $12 hot dog into his heart. Bonus points for punting John Madden himself into a passing by airplane. He’s scared to death of those things.
#2: Little Mad Planet
Little Big Planet had a fantastic art style, if by “fantastic” you mean “whimsically forgettable” and by “art style” you mean “a macaroni, glitter and Popsicle stick painting on the wall of the Craft’s Corner in a fat kid’s summer camp detention room.” LBP and MadWorld both do their best to high five your most inspired concoctions, whether its using a pulley system to make a see-saw reach a glowing orb or disemboweling your victims with a dumpster, so this would be the perfect marriage. Bonus points for getting any of your custom stages past the level Leatherfaces over at Sony, where the McCarthy era witch hunt against creative Communism continues to show no bounds.
#1: Madtris
Anything with a screen attached to it can play some dollar store version of this classic brick stacker by now, so it’s time to up the ante a bit while also giving the franchise a much needed face lift. Dropping the palette down to 3 colors won’t be an issue since the Tetris that many of us were introduced to spewed across the original Gameboy screen in swampy shades of puke green. Blocks would be replaced with spike strips, chainsaws and brain dead thugs who lay around waiting to be crushed to death. Bonus points for filling up the whole game field with thick blood, then tilting the Wii remote upside down to drain it and start anew.
http://the-minusworld.com/2009/03/19/5-games-that-need-the-madworld-art-style-treatment/
