Senlis on 06 March 2009
The game that has had the worst review I can think of is Triggerman. Here is part of IGN's review: http://cube.ign.com/articles/557/557688p1.html
- Its most advanced control maneuver is duck.
- Its second advanced control maneuver is jump.
- Aside from jumping and ducking, it features no other advanced control maneuvers.
- Its AI spastically runs about.
- Its AI courageously runs straight into streams of gunfire.
- Its AI stands in place...indefinitely.
- Its corpses vanish into the ether realm .05 seconds after death.
- Its level design philosophy begins and ends with "angular brown."
- Its characters resemble Cro-Magnon man's early attempts at a marionette.
I Hate Good
- Its gunfire sounds as if bullets were being spat through the short-circuiting audio system of a decrepit subway.
- Its instruction manual is a whopping eight pages of content and three pages of blank "Notes" fields.
- Its brand of interactivity demands totally indestructible everything.
- Its objectives often require the player to avoid being detected, but avoiding detection on the twentieth try is still nearly impossible.
- Its unarmored enemies can take up to ten bullets to kill.
- Its missions take three minutes to run through but one hour to complete, as a result of all the trial and error dying.
- Its story is never more elaborate than, "Hey, me mobster. You also mobster. You shoot for me, okay?"
- Its drab music often emulates that of an elevator, or mortuary, or elevated mortuary.
- Its levels are spaced out into predictable sections, between each there lies health.
- Its animation emulates GTA, all of the sloppy parts, anyway.
- Its greatest technical achievement is the throwing knife cam (throwing knives can kill or do no damage at all, depending on what day it is).
- Its ammo replenishment system is a giant box of "press X."
- Its enemies use and drop shotguns, but they are apparently alien, since the player cannot use them.
- Its art style forgoes actual textures in favor of vast expanses of blur.
- Its idea of action implies extreme ammo conservation.
- Its specific brand of longevity includes eight pointless missions and one promise: it will microwave up real pretty.
- It's a game called Trigger Man -- a game that emphasizes knife use more than anything.
