madskillz said:
Dude, I know 4 virgins - 2 women in their 30s, 2 dudes - both in their late 30s. For some folks, they want to wait for their spouse - to be married, in their own bed, and not have to sneak around. I had a friend of mine, an ex-man whore, who met my new wife and was like 'Man, she's an amazing woman.' Then, he told me he was jealous because of all the women he had been with, he loved none and it was just an act for him. He said 'Dude, I would love to find a good woman, marry her and enjoy being in love with the woman I am making love to.' I did make one mistake - due to peer pressure - but I made a vow to remain abstinent. It was hard as I am a nympho. My ex-fiancee tried a few times and was nearly successful. However, I stood my ground and just decided to wait until I had a Mrs. Skillz. When it happened, dang, it was well worth the wait. And our sex life is still healthy after nearly 7 years and only getting better. I find myself looking at my wife and enjoying every curve of her beautiful body and know that everytime I make love to her, waiting was the right choice all the way. For me, sex is an intimate gift given by my Creator. There's some good sex in the Bible - look at Song of Solomon. That book is easily the most sexually-charged passage I've ever read. He enjoys gazing at her bosom - loves drinking from his fountain and knows his babe is the bomb. This culture has it so right - sex with multiple partners and few consequences. Don't like your marriage? Walk away - matter of fact, hit a drive-thru and end it that way. I have yet to see a person who shares themselves with so many folks who doesn't feel empty or well on their way there. I have no need to bring VD, HIV, AIDs, chlymidia and other junk into my union. Porn shows the deed, but doesn't show the emotional attachment when the dude - or woman - moves on. It doesn't show how a partner is dealing with VD. It doesn't show how the woman deals with pregnancy and the man busts a nut and bails. No ... it shows the deed with no consequences. = PHAIL. Do I notice women? Yeah - I'm a dude, but I have purposed in my heart to be true to my vows and only death will we part. I want to know one woman's body and trust me, after 10 years of waiting, it is well worth you holding off on banging some hawties. By the way - Proverbs states - Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. Yeah, it's easy to fall and say 'Everyone's doing it,' but it takes a very strong person to say 'I'll wait until I get married' and hold their gift. Most of us will get married and waiting for your spouse sends a powerful message to them - I loved you this much that I didn't share myself with anyone else.
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I totally respect your choice.
I was going to ask you though do you think people feel empty because of their sexual nature because it is inherently ungratifying? Or do you think it has to do with a culture centered on monogamy that requires independence (even from that spouse -dependence is bad in this culture)?
My question is really geared toward the structure of society in general meaning that the symptom of having low self worth comes not from serial monogamy but rather the impersonal attitude we often find in our communities?
I was just thinking that this may be a symptom of that rather than the sex because I too have known people who would have casual sex with close friends and they were okay (at least they never complained to me). It almost seems like the 'unhappiness' you are speaking of may come from the inability to 'posess' or have sole rights to a person.
