I stopped reading after the first paragraph, at which point it was clear that the entire wall of text was an exercise in masturbatory self-indulgence.
Nothing wrong with that, mind you, but you'll excuse me if I don't want to watch while you satisfy your urges...
"The worst part about these reviews is they are [subjective]--and their scores often depend on how drunk you got the media at a Street Fighter event." — Mona Hamilton, Capcom Senior VP of Marketing
*Image indefinitely borrowed from BrainBoxLtd without his consent.