Why is soccer so unpopular in the US?

[allaboutthegames885]

Personally, I think it's not that we hate Soccer, we're just so wrapped up in our own overcrowded sports market that we don't give two cruds about it. Face the facts: in America, Classic Rules (as I like to call it) can't compete with our three biggest sports, sports being Yankee Rules (as they call it everywhere else); Baseball (which is an obsession just about everywhere); and Basketball (which is steadily gaining popularity all over this 3rd rock from Sol, and is, more importantly, an American invention).

My point is that we Americans do not have the room in our attention spans for 4 MAJOR TEAM SPORTS! And before you accuse my fellow Americans for the crime of ignorance, know this: we CANNOT be judged on the same SCALE as EVERY OTHER COUNTRY! The many countries that outrank us in just about EVERYTHING do so because they have been countries FOR FAR LONGER THAN WE HAVE! OK? *calms himself down, clears his throat* So in review, people from foreign countries should not be so judgmental about my fellow Americans and our outright unawareness of all things Soccer, Football, Futbol, or whatever you want to call it... Lord only knows we won't waste time judging you for getting or not getting Yankee Rules...-- allaboutthegames885