#1 you can't do. Well you can, sort of. Basically, you have to turn on that autoplay feature you were talking about, and whenever you turn your console on, just make sure you hold left or right so when the menu comes up, you'll move off the disc. If you move before it can 'autoplay', which isn't hard to do, it won't autoplay.
#2 That's odd..try what the above said..aside from that, theres an easier way to change your controller back to port one - just hold the PS button and go to (I think) Controller Settings (and you might have to be in a game to do this as well, I'm not sure) and you can manually change it to port 1.
I've encountered problem #2 a few times, but what happens is if I have more than 1 controller being used, and I turn the console off and try to turn it back on again with a controller I just finished using, it will keep it's controller slot. So long as I use the same controller that's been port 1, theres no problem. And if I just get off work one day and go to play, it doesn't matter which controller I start with..it's as if the Bluetooth has some sort of short term memory I guess. How long? Who knows..
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