KILLZONE 2 Shatters Expectations and Hype - Xbots Left Questioning Their Existence
December 1st, 2008 Hans
Sony Defense Force has been on a hiatus for a few months, but there’s a reason why we’ve been unable to deliver groundbreaking unbiased coverage for so long. That reason has something to do with a relatively unknown studio that resides in a far away land we like to call Amsterdam. For years, this studio has had to endure the scalding criticism of Xbox loyalists for the original KILLZONE failing to live up to its often-quoted ‘Halo Killer’ nickname.
While the status of being a ‘Halo Killer’ certainly isn’t an impressive accomplishment, we’re here to tell you that KILLZONE 2 not only destroys the HALO series in every single regard, but it will also make xbots question the very foundation of their pathetic existence. For years, there’s been a legion of Xombies following the lead of their master Microsoft, even if it meant having their poorly designed system fail on them twenty five times. And why? Becaude Microsoft’s system has a title called ‘Halo’ on it. Supposedly, the only first person shooter that matters to these savage fanatics. Ever since Halo 3’s release, there’s been a post-traumatic stress syndrome associated with the product; Halo 3 failed to deliver on all accounts and ultimately ended up being a very poorly received product in the hearts and minds of even faithful xbox fans. This resulted in the massive sales bitch-slapping the PS3 has given the Xbox 360 in 2008, despite the system costing $200-300 more than the competition.
We’ve spent the last few months extensively playtesting KILLZONE 2 at Guerrilla Games in Amsterdam in order to provide proper feedback for the final release, and it is unquestionably the greatest title in existence. The graphical fidelity of the product represents a true generational leap over Xbox 360 titles like Gears of War 2 and Halo 3. The graphics were so impressive that we were left wondering whether or not we were playing on Playstation 3 hardare rather than prototype Playstation 4 dev kits. Guerilla Games assured us that the game was playing on standard Playstation 3 systems and that no trickery was involved. The playstation 3’s power over the 360 was always readily apparent, but KILLZONE 2 makes the difference seem all the more astounding; like comparing the 360’s graphics to the Wii.
However, the good news is that KILLZONE 2 plays as good as it looks. While we can’t reveal much about it since we’re under strict NDA, it’s safe to say that the suicide rate is likely to increase in the coming months as Xbox fans question the meaning of their lives since the system they blindly support is an utter failure with a derivative, shoddily made title called Halo 3 failing to deliver. For many of these individuals, they will never be able to afford the quality of the Playstatation 3 and KILLZONE 2, which will ultimately lead them to suicide.
But for all of the Xbots out there that are feeling depressed that KILLZONE 2 rapes anything on the Xbox 360– fear not. You can still turn in your fanboy shirt at the door and purchase a reliable, quality system with true next generation graphics. Most doctors agree that the purchase of a Playstation 3 completely cures all illnesses associated with fanboys feeling depressed by purchasing an inferior Xbox 360. SDF supports life, and that’s why we support the Playstation 3. Can’t wait to see you guys in February.
Not exacly one of their best articles though.. needed some more humor :p
Video is funny though..
Check out my game about moles ^
