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Basic followed by VBasic followed by C++(at which i sucked ass)
I remember making passing grades solely on my great understanding of the Boolean concept



"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murders will foam up about their waist and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...

 ....and I'll look down and whisper  "no."  

                                                                   - Rorschach