How many 5 year olds...

[alpha_dk]

@elduderino: I dunno how long you think you'd be able to swing around a 5 year old, but i don't see anything in the rules against it and rely on it for my strategy, so i say go ahead.  Thread creator might disagree though :-/ 

 

I've seen this before... i'll use the same reasoning I did then.

FACT: 5 year olds are on average about 50 pounds. 50 pounds is next to nothing in a weight room setting: however, taking into account for fatigue (eventually) and squirminess (originally) it will be hard to judge how long one would be able to hold one. For this reason sheer force will only get you so far... muscles fatigue.

Additionally, I have been trained for killing by years of playing video games and am in very good shape. This in additionto my age putting me in the peak physical and mental condition I will ever be in, I am at a supreme advantage physically and strategically.

So to start the battle one needs to account for the fact that you are not yet tired, but you will be: they have a huge advantage in numbers, and you are in an enclosed area (as I could easily outrun them, come back when I was rested, and pick off a lot if that were not the case.

However, as it is an enclosed environment, the first order of business is to get near one of the borders of the area. A corner would be preferable, so unless it is a circular space about the size of a basketball court one should go to a corver of the room.

This provides multiple advantages. The first and most obvious of these is the ability to cover your flanks -- if your back is to the wall, you will only be able to be attacked from the front (which also just so happens to be the most defensible part of your body. The second advantage is the ability to see all the children at once (as opposed to if you were in the middle of the room. A third major advantage is the limiting of the number of children that could attack you at any given time to one or two, as opposed to a *LOT*.

A fourth advantage to being in a corner is dependent on the type of wall. If it is a solid wall (as it sounds from the description), this border could be an effective weapon if used strategically. If it is more of a fence sort of thing, it will be less useful in this aspect but more useful in the ability to temporarily snag a child and give you a respite.

if the fence is a solid wall, one would be able to use it as a bludgeon -- that is, push the 5yos into it such that you are using less energy per child to disable them. Once disabled (probably knocked out) one will be able to either: use their body as a barrier to even further limit the number of children attacking you (although you have to be careful how you pile the bodies so that it is neither scalable from the opposite side nor topplable on to you. A ramp shape where the ramp slopes up from where you are standing to be sheer on the side where the children are is what you should go for... this could be accomplished by standing on the ramp and taking care of the chilren, then pushing them behind you as the ramp slowly gets bigger. This has the added advantage of keeping your flanks covered. Additionally, as the ramp gets larger one could push children off of it onto the children waiting below.

Once the ramp/wall is sufficiently high (I would recommend 4-5 feet, as this will be taller than most if not all of the 5 year olds. one can do the same thing on the other wall (if you are in a corner). Once this is done you basically have a wall with only one attack vector, which is much preferable to even the amount of attack space when you are in a corner.

Anyways, thats all immaterial. The important parts of my stratege falls back to that using the wall as a bludgeon. You will have to use much less energy per child for the disabling in that case, and can even alternate which arm you use easier for when one gets tired (my personal sport of choice involves using both arms equally, so they are relatively equal in strength to each other).

Given all this, I put my limit at about 40-50. Possibly more if it takes less energy to knock out a 5 year old than I think it will, possibly less depending on the layout of the room and whether or not the children are expecting my strategy, as i just typed it up and put it on the internet for the whole world to see and come up with counterstrategies to).

Anywho, I put waaaaaay more thought into that then i was planning on.