| HappySqurriel said: @The Ghost of RubangB Whether you like it or not, one of the main reasons homosexual men are so often associated with being effeminate is because a large portion of men who are openly homosexual are very effeminate. Obviously there are exceptions but I suspect that the majority of gay men who are not so effeminate that people assume they’re gay probably are very quiet about their sexuality around most people. At the same time most straight-guys (if they ever get past the insecure teenage phase) will have some effeminate traits. The reason for this is that some acceptance of your feminine side actually helps with women; in fact, the guy I know who is the best with women is typically assumed to be gay by most guys because of how girly he is. The thing that bothers me about your reaction, more than anything else, is that you make the assumption that drives insecure teenage-boys to choose how they harass other boys. Your assumption is that being effeminate is something undesirable, and that pointing out that a group of people are often more effeminate than typical men is an insult. |
I wasn't assuming being effeminate is undesirable. I'm saying that's how the majority thinks, and that's why we have a heterosexist society that treats both homosexual men and all women like second-class citizens.
I'm effeminate as hell and know there's nothing wrong with it. Soooooooooooo many people think I'm gay just because my avatar is naked and because I defend gays when people randomly start bashing them on the internet. I've actually been socked in the face for wearing a hot pink wifebeater in Boston. It almost happened a second time, where a guy was running at me to kick my ass for wearing a lilac sweater, but I ducked into a crowd.
You don't have to be out of the closet or even gay to be openly effeminate. Some "traditionally manly" homosexual men are very much out of the closet. And some "traditionally feminine" homosexual men are very much in the closet.
What I'm saying is that all stereotypes according to somebody's sex, gender, sexuality, or effeminate-ness are bullshit, and they're all anti-woman. In any modern English dictionary the word "manly" comprises of many good traits, and the word "womanly" is a huge insult, either to men or to women.
