@The Ghost of RubangB
Whether you like it or not, one of the main reasons homosexual men are so often associated with being effeminate is because a large portion of men who are openly homosexual are very effeminate. Obviously there are exceptions but I suspect that the majority of gay men who are not so effeminate that people assume they’re gay probably are very quiet about their sexuality around most people.
At the same time most straight-guys (if they ever get past the insecure teenage phase) will have some effeminate traits. The reason for this is that some acceptance of your feminine side actually helps with women; in fact, the guy I know who is the best with women is typically assumed to be gay by most guys because of how girly he is.
The thing that bothers me about your reaction, more than anything else, is that you make the assumption that drives insecure teenage-boys to choose how they harass other boys. Your assumption is that being effeminate is something undesirable, and that pointing out that a group of people are often more effeminate than typical men is an insult.
