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This just in:

Upon hearing of Gov. Palin's report, OJ Simpson has released his own report, clearing himself of all charges of kidnapping and aggervated assult.

He has asked for a formal apology and his "Damn trophies" back.

"I just want my damn trophies back", said the former football star, "I just want them back or I swear to god I will cut someone's head off just like I did to....I mean...um...make sure to buy Naked Gun 33 1/3, coming to Blu-Ray soon!"

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Sorry, that was honestly the first thing to pop into my head upon reading that.



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