The Ghost of RubangB on 12 August 2008
At first nobody liked me 'cuz I was the really tall really skinny weird kid with all the zits and the greasy long hair, wearing a trench coat every day, making Doom levels of his high school, and carrying around a ukulele and a harmonica. The girls really didn't like me because when I was 16 I beat up some 15 year old and kicked his face, and it split his nose open and he went to the hospital, so they were all scared of me. And I sold VHS copies of the Pamela and Tommy Lee sex tape to all the jocks at my school for $20 each. The girls hated me 'cuz I sold porn and beat kids up. The guys hated me 'cuz I was a computer nerd, a music nerd, and just greasy and unpopular with the girls.
I was unpopular until I stole our P.E. coach's hat and wore it to a party. Then everybody was like "Oh man you so crazy wow!" And right around then I started a band that rocked harder than all the other tame Christian pop/rock bands and hippie jam bands and poser-punk bands at my Catholic high school. I wrapped myself in Christmas lights and we played a half hour version of "Bennie and the Jets" until we got kicked off stage and suddenly I was popular.
At least, that was with my own grade. The older kids in my Spanish classes already liked me 'cuz I had my own porn web site when I was 16. (It was just pix I stole from other sites and put my name on at some free porn site place. It was hilarious.)
At least, that's the best way I can explain it, looking back at it now. I still don't really get it. Oh, and some girl pantsed me at a party when I was really drunk, and suddenly my entire high school knew me as "the drunk naked guy." I think mine was the first uncircumcized penis half the girls at my high school saw. That too somehow made me more popular.
In conclusion: to get popular you need to get drunk a lot, get naked once, be in a weird band, and steal things that other people will recognize and remember.
