Well it seems to me like game writers can't write for humans at all, so I say bring on the inanimate objects. I want a talking flying burrito, or a cinder block, or a toilet seat, to save the world, or save the forest, and learn something about friendship on the way, or whatever.
I think some variation in age would be nice. Gamers are getting older but game characters are staying young and boring. Eventually we'll all be 50 and playing as androgynous 16 year olds with swords for arms and with a fairy for a sidekick. I'd like to play as an older character that isn't the one-dimensional Snake Pliskin. The OP had a great idea with the baby though. The babies in Yoshi's Island don't count, since you play as Yoshi. I want a baby to crawl around in a diaper, like in Baby's Day Out or Mr. Magoo or something, around all kinds of zany and/or wacky calamities, and foil some sort of terrorist plot. The more nukes involved the better.
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