I think you're missing a few things:
1) 3rd parties traditionally do better when all consoles compete for their support. When one console dominates (Nintendo, SONY) it tends to result in terms being dictated to the 3rd party. If there is parity, the 3Ps are in a better position to set their own terms. Thus I don't believe that they want anyone to "win" the way the NES and PS2 did.
2) It doesn't matter who the developer is. Higher costs = higher risk = less profit. Many 3Ps didn't want Sony to go the route they did (see #1), which is why they are so willing to abandon it in its time of need. So long as Nintendo's dev costs remain low, they don't need to sell so many games in order to turn a profit, and that gives them the freedom to figure out what will work on the Wii.
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