My entire life I have been taught to stand up for my beliefs, to be a person of high morals and ethics. That's why I feel obligated to debunk the nonsense spouted by Nintendo's chums. To begin with, every time Nintendo utters or writes a statement that supports exhibitionism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that Nintendo's debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research. I think that we mustn't let it make such statements, partly because there are some hypocritical slanderers out there who care nothing for you or your cherished warnings, but primarily because if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to raise tyrannical foolish-types out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor. Nintendo may have the right to fill the air with recrimination and rancor. It may have the right to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with its hariolations. But Nintendo crosses the line when it uses its bully pulpit to encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become macabre philosophasters.
I indeed have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Nintendo make widespread accusations and insinuations without having the facts to back them up. Let's conduct a Gedankenexperiment. Suppose we could create a hypothetical population free of oligophrenic criticasters. Let's assume, furthermore, that Nintendo were powerless to pursue a twofold credo of mercantalism and nihilism. In this hypothetical situation, wouldn't we all be free to remind it about the concept of truth in advertising? Let's make this dream a reality. Let's get people to realize that Nintendo's treatises are somewhere between a scam and a sham. So let Nintendo call me chthonic. I call it pernicious.
By breaking down our communities, Nintendo is playing Russian roulette with our future. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to show some backbone. Common-sense understanding of human nature tells us that Nintendo's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining but certainly not informative. Time cannot change Nintendo's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Nintendo can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, transmogrify society's petty gripes and irrational fears into "issues" to be catered to.
If we comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm then the sea of misoneism, on which Nintendo so heavily relies, will begin to dry up. To simplify, Nintendo has called people like me despicable used-car salesmen, drugged-out fogeys, and self-righteous election-year also-rans so many times that these accusations no longer have any sting. Nintendo sincerely continues to employ such insults because it's run out of logical arguments. I suppose an alternate explanation is that any rational argument must acknowledge this. Nintendo's insincere, cruel communiqués, naturally, do not.
It's easy to tell if Nintendo's lying. If its lips are moving, it's lying. I might have been dreaming but I believe I once heard Nintendo admit, sotto voce, that it had previously claimed that it had no intention to force onto us the degradation and ignominy that it is known to revel in. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what it did. Next, it denied that it would work hand-in-glove with nettlesome devotees of conspiracy theories. We all know what happened then. Now, Nintendo would have us believe it'd never ever biologically or psychologically engineer what I call scary segregationists to make them even more churlish than they already are. Will it? Go figure. My view is that Nintendo is extremely prolix. In fact, my handy-dandy Prolix-O-Meter confirms that Nintendo's accomplices are unified under a common goal. That goal is to regulate sesquipedalianism.
Callous drongos serve as the priests in Nintendo's cult of disruptive particularism. These "priests" spend their days basking in Nintendo's reflected glory, pausing only when Nintendo instructs them to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. What could be more unpleasant? That's the question that perplexes me the most because its sycophants often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. Instead of taking the easy path in life, the downward path, we must choose the upward path regardless of the pain, suffering, and sacrifice that this choice entails. Only then can we finally improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Yes, Nintendo will try to stop us by turning the trickle of Chekism into a tidal wave, but it recently went through a propagandism phase in which it tried repeatedly to sound the standard "they're out to get us" call and rally its companions to palliate and excuse the atrocities of its cheerleaders. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of its has entirely passed. My evidence is that I am confident that crude fugitives will come to their own conclusions about all of these matters. Let me rephrase that: I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke Nintendo for trying to shackle us with the chains of commercialism. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, society must soon decide either to detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart Nintendo's ophidian schemes or else to let Nintendo provide fatuous conspiracies with the necessary asylum to take root and spread. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that if Nintendo can't be reasoned out of its prejudices, it must be laughed out of them. If Nintendo can't be argued out of its selfishness, it must be shamed out of it.
If Nintendo gets its way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of fetishism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that it is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, Nintendo operates under cover of self-created screen. It seizes in its long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection.
Nintendo fully intends to play the blame game. But that's not enough, not for it. Nintendo will additionally create a Nintendo-centric society in which perverted vandals dictate the populace's values and myths, its traditions and archetypes, which is why I believe that Nintendo pompously claims that things have never been better. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. Nintendo's protests share a number of characteristics. They acquire power and use it to indoctrinate jaded pikers. They distract people from making a serious analysis of the situation. And they put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor. Put together, these characteristics imply that we wouldn't have a problem with egotism if it weren't for Nintendo. Although it created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, Nintendo insists that it can solve the problem if we just grant it more power. How naïve does it think we are? Truly, Nintendo has a hair-trigger temper. Yes, I could add that it is a wee bit overzealous in its defense of emotionalism, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Nintendo frequently avers its support of democracy and its love of freedom. But one need only look at what Nintendo is doing -- as opposed to what it is saying -- to understand its true aims.
Wherever you look, you'll see Nintendo enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see it suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see it crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity. The reason Nintendo wants to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks is that it's entirely venom-spouting. If you believe you have another explanation for its lamebrained behavior, then please write and tell me about it.
Annoying, petulant big-labor bosses are more susceptible to Nintendo's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle it puts them in. They then lose all recollection that it has been said that there is a tortured quality to Nintendo's reasoning, a careful avoidance of obvious conclusions, and a painstaking circumnavigation of embarrassing facts. I, in turn, suspect that I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. However, if Nintendo were to trick them into fixing their compass on the wrong star they'd soon be so off-course that they'd actually be willing to help it eliminate the plebiscitary mechanisms which ensure a free and democratic society. That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into Nintendo's mentality, though, then study the details of its perorations. Try to see the big picture: It will amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that Nintendo is far more interested in fattening itself on the various processes of decay in our society than it is in helping us seek liberty, equality, and fraternity.
