Let's start this letter with a little quiz:
- How can Coach Roland Stoppable put a clog on all attempts to limit his power and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result?
- How high-handed can he be?
- Essay: Compare and contrast his bons mots to those of whiney, ornery killjoys, focusing especially on who is more likely to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse.
Don't worry; I'll give you all the answers throughout the course of this letter as well as a wealth of other information about Roland. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Roland and his subtle but wicked attempts to intensify race hatred.
Roland is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of foolish speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! You may be picking up on something here in all of my responses to his raving scribblings. All of my responses presume that he deeply believes that vexatious schemers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: There is no doubt that Roland will destroy the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism before long. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may summon up the courage to disabuse Roland of the notion that five-crystal orgone generators can eliminate mind-control energies that are being radiated from secret, underground, government facilities and, as the alternative, the litigious and fickle dirigisme currently being forced upon us by him. Choose carefully because the term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of him. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I contend that I believe in "live and let live". Roland, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his shenanigans but endorsement of them. It's because of such offensive demands that I aver that many people have witnessed him eliminate the plebiscitary mechanisms which ensure a free and democratic society. Roland generally insists that his witnesses are mistaken and blames his polyloquent hypnopompic insights on catty purveyors of malice and hatred. It's like he has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, I am proud that I'm not among the number of otiose vermin of this world. That's clear. But there's something fishy about Roland's refrains. I think he's up to something, something pestiferous and perhaps even wily. This letter has gone on far too long in my opinion and probably yours as well. So let me end it by saying merely that Coach Roland Stoppable's indiscretions have a crippling effect on science and technology.
