Vaio´s official thread of gaming LOL´s

[vaio]

Palette Swappin’: Street Fighter Rejects Edition

the -minus world on May 16th, 2008

It’s an age old tradition in the world of video games: create a character, change his head or the color of his clothes ever so slightly, and voila! You’ve got two characters. Double the fun with only half the art assets! Sure, it’s a cheap trick, but it’s a staple in the history of character design that’s helped spawn everything from multiracial koopas to half the pets in World of Warcraft. That doesn’t mean it’s a guaranteed success story, though; there’s plenty of things that can go wrong in the process. That’s why today we bring to you the rejected palette swapped characters of Street Fighter 2…

 

Ryu is gaming’s most famous victim of wardrobe hijacking so it’s only right that his rejected palette swap kicks things off here. Bi-4-Yu is a bit eccentric and fashion savvy but his powerful Hardickin’ Hadouken can’t be matched. Plus his inclusion finally confirms our suspicions that him and Ken swap more than just clothes.

Lederhosen lovin’ Danke is polite enough to say a quick German thank you here and there, at least until he’s had a few pints during a heated World Cup match at his favorite local pub. Then he becomes an enraged drunken lunatic who makes for a formidable opponent in the streets and an alcoholic ally in the alley.

Fugg Li is used to the streets; it’s where her primary income stems from. That and the trickles of child support from the dozens of dead beat dads she’s associated with over the years. Her disproportioned mammaries and buck tooth snarl is an uncanny reminder that you shouldn’t have taken that last shot of 151 and instead bought a paper bag. And watch out when she raises her leg for her signature Lightning Kick, it’s deadlier than ever. Why? She has chlamydia.

Due to Islamic law, Halalsim is very selective about who she chooses to partake combat with. Years of domestic abuse have trained her into a hardened fighter, and her veritable selection of aromatic spices can turn even the runtiest of goats into a flavorful meal. And although she cannot cross the street without being accompanied by a man for fear of being attacked by fanged beasts of prey or archaic idealism, we’ve heard she has this cool fire-breathing move thing. It’s a shame she is forbidden to use it in public.

All-American drug dealing/consuming connoisseur Vile has the red top crack rock market on lock. His Hydroponic Boom knocks enemies on their asses and makes them eat pretzel nuggets and act fascinated by late 90’s Windows screen savers for hours. Just watch out for 5-0!

Jen is a pansexual olympic bodybuilder with a heart of gold and balls of steel. She completely disgusts us and thus will not receive any further mention whatsoever. Gross!

Asian Import Tuner aficionado On E, In A Honda isn’t just excited about winning an illegal street race last night. He’s on semi synthetic phenethylamine, known in vigorous DDR circles and Karaoke bars as “ecstasy.” Honda’s “hundred hand slap” makes a palette swappin’ return, although this time around it’s him high-fiving you a hundred times in a row while proclaiming how much he loves you as a friend. Uh, ok.

Ever wrassled with a grizzly authoritative figure like PoliceChief ? Hopefully you can still walk, and walk with dignity. Decades of hard time and self inflicted tatts have sent his brain into a spinning piledriver of sexual frustration. Don’t step to this wannabe crooked cop (who slept his way to the top) unless you want to wind up crooked yourself. Right down there. He wears an outfit to protect the streets, and you should wear protection too. Against him. Because he’s absurdly gay. For you.

 

Be sure to stay tuned for the Championship Edition of this post soon, because like Capcom, we plan to milk our intellectual properties for all they’ve got.