"you provide the prose poems, i'll provide the war"
charles foster kane in citizen kane

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

"Good morning , oh , and in case I don't see ya , good afternoon , good evening and good night" Jim Carrey , The Truman Show

Famous Dumb and Dumber Quotes :
Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

Lloyd: We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"

Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.

Lloyd: Well suck me sideways!

Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty dollars I can get you gambling before the day is out!
Harry: No!
Lloyd: I'll give you three to one odds.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Five to one.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Ten to one?
Harry: You're on!
Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya!
Harry: Nu uh!
Lloyd: I don't know how but I'm gonna get ya.

Harry: What's in the briefcase?
Lloyd: Man, I would have to be a real lowlife to go rooting around in someone else's private property.
Harry: Is it locked?
Lloyd: Yeah. Really well.

anything thats insulting to americans.

"I am a big time jackass" -coolestguyever 3/2/2008

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.

EDIT: another few quotes: If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.

They say hard work never hurt anybody, but I figure why take the chance. - Ronald Reagan.

When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty." -Theodore Roosevelt

@coolestguyever
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. -Albert Einstein

Pretty much the Declaration of Independence & the American Constitution.

Another quote for coolestguyever:

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else. -Winston Churchill