man if that isnt a story to be proud of i dont know what is

Well, thank God for that.  I just have to know...what were thinking about while you jerked it?

about you

Actually, AFAIK there is no source stating that the cops were (all) male... much less that he was "looking at them while masturbating".
Meaning you just invented the idea that he was gazing at "male cops" while masturbating out of your own imagination.

I think on Meth it really says nothing. He would have probably masturbated to his own grandmother.

Who knows, the article never said whether his grandmother was one of the cops or not...

Dammit, now I have to go jerk off in a bar.  Wish me luck.

dont finish when they are reading you your right. trust me, they can and will use that against you in a court of law. 

Oh shit, you got him there.  So, what does it say about Soonerman that he was dreaming up that scenerio? 

Well, considering that I'm going to be jerking off to you jerking off to me, I think I'll be done before the cops are even called.  Maybe they will have pity on my poor stanima and not call them.