I'm glad I forced it out of you and not your body forcing you.

As a child I saw couple of those in certain places, now only a few old houses keep them. Always curious about how would that feel, then again, quite awkward. When I was in Japan I refrained from using those 'features' of their toilets.

well i'm from Australia so:

To be honest I didn't even know how to spell bidet.  To my understanding it usually sounded like bide when pronounced.   Usually if it takes over a few mins on Google to figure out the word then that means you don't know jack shit.  Just to let you know how bad the situation is for me.

Fosters: Australian for shit beer

Thanks for the clip I almost forgot about that part.  Pure classic.

American here.  I'd always imagined that having a warm shot of water would feel pretty satisfying after a hard, stanky poo.  Especially on those cold days.  Yeah ...............

And we're back!  But, yeah, I can see still needing to wipe, if anything just dry yourself off.  I know they sell here and I even thought of splurging on one of these when I still had a house and was making a lot more money.  Who cares what others in this country think or are comfortable with, these things just make SENSE to me feeling so fresh and so clean clean.

I was going to reply, and then it hit me: "What the fuck am I doing?" XD

Nooo, but really the bidet is awesome.

^Darth Tigris, is that Donny Darko?

lol "ABOUT THIS SHIT"

But in all seriousness, moist wipes all the way!

They probably haven't caught on, becasue of two obvious reasons. The first being that Americans are obsessively compulsive aboug hygiene, and in that world the item that is totally disposable is king. The second reason, and probably more important has to do with the Agrarian nature of the nation. Most households didn't have indoor plumbing fifty or more years ago. So ironically enough the common toilet is actually more of a modern convenience. Ask your elders, and you will probably find a few that grew up using the outhouse. My mother grew up with a outhouse. My great aunt was using a outhouse until she was well into her nineties, and you can still find plenty of them if you go deep into the back country. Anyway like half a percent of the population still doesn't have indoor plumbing.