i have a PS360...... 

1. I was wondering which system to buy it for ? is there any lag or anything bad for online verisons on either system.

2. I think i heard theres a difference graphical wise for the systems? xbox360 being a little superior? true?

3. How is the control scheme? how are the online lobbies ? 

i dont know i guess i am confused because ima play "this particular" game for a long time and i want to make the right decison.

360 has a higher resolution and generally you have more friends with xbox live...

ps3 has an exclusive outsit and safe house i think.

you decide what u want

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/console-comparison-red-dead/100419

Here's a comparison

xbox360 of course , the ps3 edition runs at 540p!

How are the online lobbies for both games? both are full?

Whichever controller you would rather play the game with.

Simple as that.

Only one version lets your ride around with a pimpin' hat.

Obvious choice really.

PS3, better bonuses, graphics look identical on both systems, ps3 looks slightly smoother wwhile 360 looks slightly sharper (more jaggies, but slightly crisper) I prefer ps3's look, but they are WAY to close to choose based on looks

No it's 640p.

 IS it? well i read it some where on the net you can google it anyway.