| HylianSwordsman said: Also consider the option of not getting married. Marriage isn't right for everyone, and not everyone is right for marriage. There's no shame in that. A lot of guys get themselves into trouble because they feel pressure to get married, but they're not really marriage material, and that really ought to just be fine. A lot of messy divorces would be avoided that way. |
Women too. People think it is their cultural duty to get married.
It’s not even that marriage isn’t right for all those that aren’t, it’s that people are marrying for the wrong reasons and are therefore probably not marrying the right person. I think it is important (for men in particular) to experience dating many women without intentions for long term relationships. If dating for 3 months and the last month or more has not been happy, it is sure marriage won’t be a good idea.
Also, a lot of guys have emotional baggage (myself included) where they have a long term crush on certain women: a lot of short relationships and casual dating DOES get rid of this - and I would say having no emotional baggage is good, and making sure not to date women who have emotional baggage for very long (maybe 6 weeks tops, ideally as short a time as possible). When no emotional baggage is involved, a strong foundation for building a relationship exists. But (as a man) when there is emotional baggage involved with you, even if you have met a great woman, you might not be emotionally ready to fully commit to her because your heart is not fully in it (if that makes sense) and your mind is going over alternative scenarios as possibilities (rather than just harmless fantasies).
It is better to make sure you know yourself and what kind of person you are, and be able to recognize others, before getting married. I’d say women develop emotional maturity much younger than men, but it is not a perfect rule. Some men are emotionally mature at young ages (that is, able to eliminate the emotional baggage and put full love and commitment to one goal without it being any kind of a struggle), and some women at older ages. I think emotional maturity is something that life experience, and dating lots of women, can give for men - women don’t seem to be the same: I have known many women who are very mature, emotionally, who have had very little dating experience; similar can be said of some men, but it is FAR more rare.
I describe myself as a little dose of toxic masculinity.
