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badgenome said:
It just so happens that I'm a specialist, but I'm going to need to put you under observation before I can determine if this is abnormal. Do you have a webcam?

Funny you ask that. I just bought a new camera to observe my sleep cycle. I'd be happy to send you a video. There's just one problem: My name, address, Bank PIN number, and Social Security Numbers are all posted on my wall in clear, bold font. Do you promise not to use that info for any malacious purposes (such as stealing my identity)?