So a few years back I introduced a friend to Zombies!!!, a broken yet fun board game. He loved it and continued playing it with some other friends and his girlfriend.
Last night, he came over to my place and brought Humans!!! which is pretty much Zombies!!! in reverse.
I know Zombies!!! is a more or less broken game and you need house rules to make it more fun and balanced, but it still isn't a horrible game so we both figured Humans!!! would be the same exact way.
We couldn't be more fucking wrong.
Fuck I hate that game.
It's just so horrible balanced and the rules are just so vague. In this game you play as the zombies and you're either trying to eat humans or infect humans which sounds like craploads of fun and like I said, Zombies!!! in reverse. Well, the game is just that, you start off with one zombie and eventually try to get a hoarde of zombies to hunt down, capture, and eat or infect humans.
The thing that sucks though is the process of capturing a human. To do so, you have to go through all these steps:
- Move a zombie onto a square with a human (you have a set amount of movement a turn that is shared amongst all your zombies)
- Attempt to capture a human by rolling 4 or greater on a d6 with no modifiers
- If you capture the human, an opponent may play a weapon card (which people alwaus have) to allow the human to fight back. If the human fights back they must roll a 4 or great with no modifiers. If the human wins, you get wounded and risk losing your zombie, otherwise, you move to the next step.
- You draw your infect cards (usually 2-3) to see if you infect or eat the human. If you eat the human, you get a point that can't be taken away. If you infect it, you get a new zombie that is worth a point but it can die so you would then lose that point. Oh, there's an escape card (which there are a lot of) that if you draw, the human just automatically escapes.
So because of that, humans almost always fucking escape. We played this game for two hours and nobody every got more than two zombies at a time and almost nothing happened.
Zombies!!! isn't horrible because you're always killing zombies and having fun with cards, Humans!!! sucks because the humans always get away and the cards are next to worthless.
Also, the rules could not be more vague. We just had to guess what to do on a lot of things because it didn't clarify too well and other things, it just didn't even mention. For instance, I was the lawyer zombie so I had a special ability I could use once in the game: Call a human on the same square as you, if they pick up infect them. The hell? Nowhere in the rules does it explain that, NOWHERE. and evey special character has an ability close to that that you just have to guess what they're meaning.
Anyways, just a warning, if you see this game steer clear, it blows.
