Wishes she was a monkey!

wishes he was a 3 year old girl!!!♪

Was home alone a few weekends ago and decide to call me up to inform me he is fapping to a picture of Jessica Fletcher dressed as Hitler punching a retarded space mutant baby

I almost hang up on him , but as I finish my stream of swear words I hear over the phone his bedroom door being opened and his mother walking in

“Sweetie I brought you OHHH MY GOD IS THAT MURDER SHE WROTE…..and are you OUCHING YOUR SELF”


She starts screaming at him and instead of hanging up the phone he just drops it on the desk and start begging his mom not to hurt him, mean while he has yet to put his thing away or clear off the screen

So I am sitting here now and listing to her just go off on him while he sobs in what I can only assumes to be the corner of his room and his mom is all like

“ what you should do that in my house with out my knowledge but now the big man can do it….go on finish it since that is what you want…..shake hands with the devil…let him have your soul you worthless *edited by mods*’



And I mean Sobbing—I can hear him whimpering to his mom and everything


Man I almost called the cops or CPS or something but nah

is in a mental hospital!!

One time while visiting me in the Mary Mother House (a hospital for special needs)

Thought it would be funny to walk around like he was a patent

So he breaks into this supply closet and steal like thirty adult diapers
And pts each one on

No here is the impressive thing , some how with one bowel movement he was able to soil all thirty

He starts freaking out and crying then take off full sprint at a group of nurses and leaps into the midst of them

His diapers burst and latterly shoot poop over the whole lot

Then he scrambles up and runs out before anybody can figure out he should not be there

is a fat lady

im a GIRL! use she instead of he!!

is a 29 year old dood >_>

One time after we got out of highschool decides it would be funny to go to this website and create an acct as if he was a little girl

Then he got this fifty year old guy to meet him at Wal Mart---so the fat guy shows up and he is waiting for my friend “she” to show up



Well him and I are siting in a car across the street having a laugh when all of the sudden this little girl walks up to the guy , I am think she was lost or something…..

But she walks up and before we know what is going on he is grabbing her and dragging her to his van ….man I swear I told him we have to help her but he is like “f this man I am not going back to jail for this crap” and floors it….shame really

But I guess he is creating accts as a little girl again

well crap now my post is ruined...damm

is a janitor!