I won't say what I was doing until I survive. It's in your best interest to help me now, because you might get some lulz out of what I did to deserve this.

I rebooted, and now I'm updating the definitions in Malware Guard.

After I rebooted, it seems I now have icons on my desktop for "GAY FETISH SEX" and "BEST BDSM PORN" that are links to web sites.

sorry but somehow that made me laugh

what you can do is get a trial version of norton!

I'm running a deep scan of Malware Guard right now. So far I have 0 infected memory processes and 74 infected registry items. It hasn't gotten to files and folders yet.

And I'm saving screenshots of some of the windows.

http://www.symantecstore.com/dr/v2/ec_Main.Entry17C?SID=27683&SP=10023&CID=0&PID=947902&PN=62&V1=947902'

here you go a free 15 day trail totally legal

0 infected memory processes, 74 infected registry items, 115 infected files/folders so far.

Oh, hey steven the scan's finished, at 0, 74, and 115. What do I do now? I can barely see the program except when I drag it between immovable pop-ups.

I'm not using the computer that has MG on it, I'm at work... there should be a next button or view infected, something like that. Once you do that, you can either quarantine (recommended) or set it to delete. It doesn't matter which you do; I delete because it makes me feel better.

It wanted me to remove every single one except for 2 "moderate" threats, which it wanted me to ignore once. I set them to remove anyway. The rest were high or severe. I hit apply now and I don't know if anything happened. I think the program froze. I'm gonna reboot again.

Wait it out at least 3 minutes before rebooting. It can take a while depending on your computer... especially when it's so infected. It took a minute or so the first time I did it on my quad core.