remember the nes days? mario looked like mario. zelda looked like zelda. metroid looked like metroid. cant say much cuz most of the franchises im talking about are of the latter generation, so lets move forward right away.
remember the super nintendo days? super mario world looked like a 2D mario game. super mario kart looked like mario kart, and was sort of the super mario world, of mario kart, because thats kinda wut it represented. then the donkey kong country games, resembles donkey kong games, and metroid felt like metroid. kirby was kirby. star fox was star fox. sonic was definitely sonic. and so on. zelda was zelda.
then the n64 days came. super mario 64 looked like a 3d mario game. mario kart 64 also felt like mario kart, and was kind of the super mario 64, of mario kart, cuz thats wut it kinda represented. it had that mario kart feel to it, with a sense of maturity, and that mario-esque. it actually felt more mario kart than the snes one did for some reason. anyways. banjo kazooie looked like banjo. crash bandicoot looked like crash. sonic looked like sonic. donkey kong 64 still felt like dk. star fox 64 felt more like star fox than the original, too. weird? i duno. kirby was still kirby. spyro was spyro. and these were all good too. they didnt just represend wut they should have, but they were all good. and like, zelda was zelda, and almost all franchises seemed to look like what they should. conker didnt look like conker, but who cares. it kicked ass.
THEN!!!!!! the gamecube generation, and im serious. like, what the hell? what a bitter disappointment. where the fuck's conker? oh. we get a port to the xbox. a bad port... and its not even on nintendo (is that good that its bad and not on nintendo? i dunno. actually no. its still bad cuz damn it rare, u should be on nintendo). now where's banjo? huh? i dunno. we had like TWO of them for the N64. are u telling me there couldnt be one? NOT EVEN ON THE XBOX? wut was rare doing this whole time? (sigh). wait. im not done. ooooooh no. not even close. what the hell is sonic doing in the human world? like, can he be more out of place? and im not joking when i say this but seriously. all other characters besides sonic and tails can rot in hell, including knuckles, because he started the chain reaction of additional crappy characters. anyways, crash bandicoot gets a make over, ends up looking like a retard (dont get me started with his second remake, in the future. DO NOT.) and just flat out sucks. he also strays from the original formula. and like seriously. whats up with the mario kart double dash clone? its not funny. anyways, spyro just sucks. i mean. some games just suck, and u cant really explain it. well new spyro is like that. he just sucks. and he looks ugly.
donkey kong went off jerking off in the bushes when those stupid bongo games came out. woopteedoo about jungle beat. its fine, but its 2D, when there should also be a 3D one, with gamecube graphics. mario is good and all, but its soooo different. even zelda went cell shade. its fine, but its also different. good different, but is still a puzzle piece with all these different games, like sunshine, which like i said, is also a very good game. now star fox. what a miserable piece of shit. i mean. now hes fighting dinosaurs in a zelda esque setting. a bad zelda esque setting. like, whats wrong with flying around in space, huh? and dont get me started with the second game, Starfox Insult, and even command sucks too. mario kart double dash is fun, but it doesnt feel like mario kart. no. I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, BUT MARIO TOOK THE SILLY FORMULA IN GAMECUBE DAYS, AND THAT JUST PISSED ME OFF. it was fun, but far too silly, and didnt feel like mario kart at all. i mean, the sillyness fit in, but at the same time, just didnt. i dont know. its like the super mario sunshine of mario kart.
mario kart 64 felt much more of a mario kart game. double dash was too silly, and there were too many characters, and didnt have the same charm. it had a new charm, and was fun, but the charm wasnt as good. at least metroid prime looks like metroid. kirby didnt really change, but hey, where was he during the gc genration? huh? i dunno. he went off, riding on stupid stars, and stuff. but hey, we got a new franchise. o yeah. blinx the time sweeper. yeah. he didnt do jack all cuz his sorry ass sucked the second he walked in. he could have been the next mario clone. it would have been the perfect mirror = sonic, mario, crash, blinx (sega, nintendo, sony, microsoft) and that would have been awesome, but no. he just sucked. on top of that all, they all look so ugly.
like, seriously, u dont know how much i hate it when they revise characters looks. its always for the worst.
sonic --> stretched out version of gumby died blue, with a giant droopy star fish head, tall and humanoid like a man in a sonic costume, and just flat out ugly. like, im not joking. what a pile of crap he turned out to be.
spyro --> really ugly dragon. i mean, why did he have to grow up? its a video game. keep him little. besides, he could have grown up, and not look like utter shit. he looks mature, but in an ugly way. i dunno. nevermind.
banjo--> he looks like hes made out of cubes (i know this isnt in the GC generation, but still)
kazooie--> he looks like some weird sesame street thing from china with some weird fiery hair thingy i dunno. i just dont know. i dont know wut im talking about. he looks weird and i cant explain it so im randomly stating wut comes to mind. he just looks weird now. different from that trailer, even. (also not in GC gen)
conker --> looks like an asshole
jak --> also looks like an asshole
blinx --> nobody ever liked him, but damn it. did he have to pull a "sonic" and go all tall, after the first game?
mario --> yes, even mario. his legs are a lot taller. but hes like the only one that looks better, believe it or not.
link --> WHY? he looks so childish in wind waker.
crash bandicoot --> looks retarded (wut did i say about not talking about the second revision. I WILL NOT. its too insulting)
donkey kong --> uh... i dunno. i guess he sorta looks the same. but at the same time, he doenst
fox --> his snout is far too short
is that it? i think theres a few others i forgot to mention. but seriously, damn it. STOP CHANGING THE LOOKS. u get adapted to the original look, start visualizing what that look, if kept the same, would look like in the next generation, get nostalgic for it, but then guess what happens? REVISION TIME! seriously. it just escalates the shit to a whole new level, past the fucking moon wen they do that.
as for the wii generation, mario finally looks like mario, and zelda looks like zelda. big thumbs up. ive already discussed banjo. i talked bout him in the gc section cuz i planned not to talk about the wii section and because im too lazy to edit it out and put it here, im not. doesnt make sense because i put more effort into talking about why i didnt edit the banjo part and put it in here, than if i just did it, but w/e. yah. anyways theres still no DK, kirby, and the others. like i said im not talking about crash. (shivers). somethings are just better not discussed. sonic did his absolute worst, ever, on the 360/ps3. still no conker. mario kart was cool, but it still didnt feel like mario kart, and those fucking miis.
man o man i hate them so much. theyre fine on the wii and wii sports, but when they force their way into mario kart, and other games, that just pisses me off cuz theyre so out of place. especially in coconut mall in mario kart wii when those miis are retardedly driving back in forth in a set pattern. SOOO OUT OF PLACE. ugh it ruins the whole thing like humans in sonic. now what else? wut else? o yea no star fox, but maybe thats a good thing. it seems like franchises just suddenly changed after the ps1 days and that really pisses me off, like seriously. wut the hell? like the n64 had 5 good platformers (banjo 1+2 DK Conker and Mario) and the gamecube only had one (Mario).
thats just a BIG NO NO. im not kidding. and damn it, couldnt the PS2 and Xbox get a proper mascot? i mean, if u couldnt keep crash, and if u couldnt make blinx good, then couldnt u at least find someone else besides ratchet and master cheif? master cheif is awesome, but hes not suited for a mascot. he doesnt fit in with the rest. i guess ratchet fits in. hes cool. but i dunno. its unclear if he is the mascot. maybe he is. i guess ratchet is fine, but at least confirm if he is the mascot or not. why am i talking about mascots? is this a mascot thread, or a "why did franchises change thread?" anyways thats why the GC generation pissed me off. so many changes. i mean, for once.
FOR ONCE i want to see a game like the classic sonics, classic banjos, classic DKs, in NEXT GENERATION QUALITY WITHOUT BULLSHIT. all we have is galaxy, but thats only wii quality. i guess we also have ratchet, but meh. o and scratch banjo off the list. but i want to see a classic sonic game in next gen without any stupid werewolf bullshit. i want it to look like sonic, but no. to date, there isnt a single one, with nex gen graphics, that are reminiscent of the classics, and thats just retarded. no nex gen star fox that looks like star fox. no next gen crash that looks like crash. utter bull shit. i guess its okay to have mountains of shovel ware, but its not okay to keep original formulas. no. the nex gen is SOOOO EXTREME that original formulas are obsolete, so we have to mess them up like in banjo. u know. 80% vehicles.
yeah. original formula is out dated, so lets change everything. they did the same with crash and sonic...... u know what? screw it. they messed everything up. why not drill the final nail in the coffin, and release a game called MASCOT OLYMPICS where Mario runs around with a water gun, Luigi runs around with a vacuum, have Banjo flying around in planes, and Kazooie, because obviously birds cant fly. Have Sonic go around as a fucking werewolf, because that makes sense, right? i mean, in the genesis days it was perfectly forseen that he would eventually turn into one.
u know, have conker smoking cigars (that would at least stay with the formula), have crash bandicoot with his stupid tattoos, jacking everyone off (cuz thats wut he does know. he "jacks enemies." personally i think the devz were jacking off with that new concept), have fox fight dinosaurs cuz u know, thats wut star fox is all about. fighting dinosaurs and making out with a female fox with giant boobs (cuz female foxes have giant boobs). what else for the MASCOT OLYMPICS? oh yeah, u have to have donkey kong playing the instruments. yeah. remember why the SNES games were so great? cuz he did nothing but bang on drums. yeah. have spyro run around with his ugly manlyness. u know what? no. NO. just forget everything uve read. bottom line is that they ruined everything.
