This is a tale that you fanboys have passed down for uncounted generations...
It tells of a console war of unmatched scale and ferocity, the likes of which would never be seen again. One dark, fateful day, a webiste cracked wide and malevolent forces of Ouya fanboys rushed forth from the fissure. They mounted a brutal assult upon the webiste people, driving the site into deep despair...
They praised the Ouya, bashed other consoles, and made Nintenyearolds cry without hesitation. They did all of this in their lust to take the perfect fanboy protected by her grace, the female gamer. The power she guarded was without equal.
Handed down by the gods of old, this fanboy gave its holder the means to come up with great damage control. Such was the might of the perfect fanboy that the old ones placed it in the care of the female gamer. To prevent this perfect fanboy from falling into the hands of Ouya fanboys and other evil swarming the webiste, the female gamer gathered the surviving fanboys on an outcropping of the webiste. She sent it skyward, beyong the reach of the Ouya fanboys. Beyond even the hiddenness of child porn.
With the fanboys safe, the female gamer joined forces with the webiste dwellers and fought the evil forces, sealing them away. At last, peace was restored to the webite.
This is a tale you fanboys have told for many ages, generation to generation... But there are other legends, long hidden away from memory, that are intertwined with this tale. Now, a new legend bound to this great story stands ready to be revealed.
A legend that will be forged with your own hand...
